One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
it's great music for shaving your balls
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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