i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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