plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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