I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
3pm strippers are depressing
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
