What a fucking waste of an outfit
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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