a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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