so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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