I can't breathe out the right side of my face
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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