Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
