i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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