Cold hands, warm shart.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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