The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
