so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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