Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
