So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
