i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Randomize
