Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
