You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i would punch a child for taco bell
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
