Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
