Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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