yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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