Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize