I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
