wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
