Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize