alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
