I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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