Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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