Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
