You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
