I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
