you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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