i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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