I wish I could teleport
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
