You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
