In the future we'll all be gay
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
