Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
