if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize