Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
