Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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