So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just puked most of my soul out..
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