If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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