sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
