FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
