Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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