just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
