I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
