She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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