I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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