he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
