Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I need a beard to bite.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
