ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She needs sedatives and a leash
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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