i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
