sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
