So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
