i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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