New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
