What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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