I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Buhtt sex?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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