I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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