I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize